It came upon me quickly and I was not ready for it.
5 weeks early and with the most painful week of my life, tiny premature Isaiah Zaccheus Lee entered this great big world. I was his and he was mine. I had no control over what happened that week, the complications, the decisions that were made, the prolonged recovery that I very much underestimated. Tears. Lots of tears. And also the providence of God in places unexpected. A new doctor who joined our practice 2 months early and just a few weeks before the birth- who could take over my practice while I was away. In-laws who came every day so I could shower and nap. A church small group and neighbors that brought us dinner every day and visited with us. The pain clouded my thanksgiving but I am thankful now. And my mom who flew in to help for the next several weeks. And for sweet dear friends who have helped me more than they know-- Lindsay with her soul care cards- soo encouraging! And a healthy son, despite his more difficult feeding routine. Teaching me ... patience. teaching me the love of God. teaching me that I have no control. teaching me to pray. Teaching me to cry out to the One has already laid out the life plans for this child.
Our lives will be never be the same. We will forever have a son. For the next 18 years, this tiny human roommate will grow and I will need to take account of him in everything I do and every place I go.
Good thing he is cute. I am not a "baby-person" but I have the cutest baby.
And I have choice but to hold him upright for hours each day to prevent him from vomiting. A new time to pray and think and listen and perhaps if I become disciplined enough- to read and grow.
Baptism-- not just to immerse but to soak and saturate with-- like with pickling. I want to use this time to soak and saturate my soul with Jesus. God knows I need it.
5 weeks early and with the most painful week of my life, tiny premature Isaiah Zaccheus Lee entered this great big world. I was his and he was mine. I had no control over what happened that week, the complications, the decisions that were made, the prolonged recovery that I very much underestimated. Tears. Lots of tears. And also the providence of God in places unexpected. A new doctor who joined our practice 2 months early and just a few weeks before the birth- who could take over my practice while I was away. In-laws who came every day so I could shower and nap. A church small group and neighbors that brought us dinner every day and visited with us. The pain clouded my thanksgiving but I am thankful now. And my mom who flew in to help for the next several weeks. And for sweet dear friends who have helped me more than they know-- Lindsay with her soul care cards- soo encouraging! And a healthy son, despite his more difficult feeding routine. Teaching me ... patience. teaching me the love of God. teaching me that I have no control. teaching me to pray. Teaching me to cry out to the One has already laid out the life plans for this child.
Our lives will be never be the same. We will forever have a son. For the next 18 years, this tiny human roommate will grow and I will need to take account of him in everything I do and every place I go.
Good thing he is cute. I am not a "baby-person" but I have the cutest baby.
And I have choice but to hold him upright for hours each day to prevent him from vomiting. A new time to pray and think and listen and perhaps if I become disciplined enough- to read and grow.
Baptism-- not just to immerse but to soak and saturate with-- like with pickling. I want to use this time to soak and saturate my soul with Jesus. God knows I need it.
No comments:
Post a Comment