following Abraham up the mountain...

I met for breakfast with a medical student today. She has all the anxiety I had 7 years ago but more spunk.  We spent the morning talking about Abraham offering up Isaac on the altar... Medical school being your Isaac.  It's the lesson that helped me to not go crazy in medical school, a daily surrender as I gave so much of myself to something while not making it an ultimate thing.

...and 7 years later, I'm still learning to follow Abraham up the mountain…again.  It's the same lesson but in a thousand different ways. Tim Keller described how when God saw what Abraham did, He said, "now I know that you love me because you were not willing to withhold your only son." and how we can look at our God now and say the same thing with confidence.  I know that You love me God, because you did not withhold your only begotten Son. I know that You love me.


aside:
There are a lot of what ifs in life. My friend was saying, "Jen, God does not give you grace for the What ifs'. He gives you Grace for What IS."

12am text

My little brother sent me this text at 12:43 am:

"Went to men's ministry breakfast--the elder challenged the men to view their walk with God as a relationship rather than a checklist. That is, our spiritual health ought to be viewed in terms of our relationship with God. Are we growing more intimate with Him, more knowledgable and in love with Him, more desirous to please Him? This was very helpful for me in this sorta dry time feeling like something has been off."

I was so encouraged by this as well. Even though I like my job, I've been feeling a bit burned out with  the longer hours since we are short staffed. But today, thinking about this actually made me excited about going to work. I had a thought "Well God, here we go today" and I really felt like he was sitting in the car with me and we were going to have a great day together…solely because we were together.


On another note, it is exactly 1 month out and I am still sad.

I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits
and in His word I put my hope.

He is the Balm of Gilead.

Starting Over Again

Step 1. Repent.
As you are. bring your filthy rags...
and Come.  Come home. Come Messy.
Just Come.

You are Guilty. Don't deny it.
For this He died. You nailed him there.
Hold your hands up, sinner -
and Receive His Grace
Spilled over You
in the precious death of His perfect Son.
the Son of God. killed for you.

It is Enough beloved.
His death is enough
for you.

Breathe.
because You were dead but now you are Alive
Open Your Eyes, once blind
see your crippled legs are healed

Step Out. of the shadowlands
Rise up, Arise!
See the prostitute clothed in white
and given a new name
and a garland of praise on her head
He intends to make her His Bride

His banner over her is love.