More stones from the Jordan for my rock pile…

Been awake since 2am. but what should I do after laying awake for several hours but get up and do something productive. And writing down Praises for answered prayer… is productive… more than that, it is stacking the rock monument higher so you can see it better later… for those times later when you are tired, confused at the waves of life and the darkness seems so near and encompassing.

In the words of John Piper interpreting scripture:

Prayer changes things. It makes things happen that otherwise would not happen if we had not prayed! 

1. Yesterday it was pouring rain like a madhouse. I had an alarm on my phone go off that said "flash flood warning until 5:30pm" We were set to move Gina at 5pm, and many of us had been praying since the night before that the rain would stop for the move. I'm not sure any of us believed it would happen. But God- YOU STOPPED THE RAIN at 4:45pm! - it didn't rain a drop here then entire 3 hours we were moving. Thanks for reminding us that you hear us!

2. the First day in Nepal, it was scorching hot. We took a quite terribly sweaty 4 hour bus ride to the base of a mountain we were going to climb.  I asked God to bring the cloud cover for the 3 hour hike up the steep mountain. "God, you know what a wimp I am and I don't know if I can do it in this heat." God, thank You for bringing there perfect cloud cover with just a faint sprinkling at first. Yes, it poured at the end, but we were so hot from hiking with packs that no one even put their ponchos on. Thank You!  Who is this that even the wind and the rains obey him? The Lord God, Almighty, glorious in his splendor!

3. It stormed all night- the winds pushed over the other girls tent. It soaked through several of the other tents and they woke up in water. I was thinking, "Lord, did we just drive 4 hours and hike 3 more to have it storm so hard that we can't even do clinic? No one will come in this weather, please stop the storm"  And YOU DID! The next day the skies were radiantly bright blue without any clouds at all. What you did with them I have no idea. 

4. Matt asked me to lead morning devotions for the team on Wednesday and to share the gospel as well for those outside listening. I had been praying before this trip for an opportunities to share the gospel- though my expectations were low considering how the Iraq trip went.  When we started that morning, there was a larger than normal Nepali crowd from the village gathering around us-. After the main devotion on the Love of God, as I began to share the gospel, Hari stood up to translate in his loud voice. There were many listening attentively and at the end, Hari, a local Nepali church planter, said to me "I believe this is the first time this village and most of these people have ever heard the gospel." Thank You Lord for the amazing privilege of this!

5. We prayed for our translators and opportunities to love them and be Christ to them. Each day, they heard our testimonies. One day I was sitting with 3 of the Buddhist  girls and I shared with them that I had grown up trying to be perfect, but inside I was like this broken building that we were looking at. All 3 of them said to me "We feel like this too! Your story is our story!" Sunita said to me, "Someday I think I will be Christian, though Im not ready yet." She wants to marry a Christian man because she saw such a difference in the men on our trip compared to other men she knows. Thank You Lord for this opportunity to love and share you with these precious women. 

6. After the 7.2 earthquake, the roads were blocked in multiple places by the landslides. It looked like this: We were told by multiple sources they would not be cleared anytime soon and likely we would either need to be helicoptered out or hike 12 miles with our packs OVER the landslides- which were still occurring even at that time. We prayed and prayed, planned likely not to get out that day at all… then were told that unexpectantly that CHINESE relief workers had come and cleared the roads! God literally clears our greatest roadblocks in weird and marvelous ways.! Thank You Lord. 

There are many more but I am tired again now. You kept each of us safe in the earthquake, even as we hiked back and ran through valleys where rocks were still falling from above. and driving through roads where at any time a large boulder could fall on our bus and knock us off the cliff. It was not our time to go! 

Praise the Lord, let all my inmost being praise His Holy name. 

What will our God do with our ruins, impossibilities, and most broken places?

Memorial Day.

Today we remember the cost of freedom and those who have served our country through the military.

I remember looking out at a cemetery in Iraq and one of the locals quietly stated to me, "This is the End." It seems that way, but it's not true, for believers or unbelievers. None of the bodies here represent souls that are quiet in the ground. Some are eternally rejoicing in the presence of God's glory. Others are lamenting in eternal torture feeling the weight of the wrath of God over sin. It is a terrible thought and one that I cannot grasp well nor am I sure that I want to.

But all in all, it is true, that this IS the end, of this life.

Grace notes...

These are notes from a Sermon last week on the Gospel and Gal 2:20-by pastor Jeremy. I want to let them sink deeper into my heart so I am putting them here.  Lord,  teach this to my innermost being.

Is Grace a doctrine you believe or a deep well of water you drink freely from?

The enemy of the Gospel is not the law, it is "another gospel" . It is often when we base out justification on our progress and performance of our sanctification.
We are highly performance driven as a culture. We carry our performance mentality into our relationship with God…we forget that it is Unmerited Favor. The Gospel of Grace needs to be beaten into our brains repeatedly.

What is your contribution to your salvation?  It's your sin!
When I try to add to the gospel, I am trying to rebuild what was torn down. It is foolish to think I can smuggle in obedience into Christ's finished work.

And it seems too good to be true. Christ's righteousness imputed to us and all my sin imputed to Him. I have been crucified with Christ. God does not grade on a curve- He grades on perfection and the only way to make the grade is to be crucified with Christ.

What does the law do? It always puts our focus on the law keeper. we break it or keep it. but Faith-- puts the focus on Christ. The law is good! It makes the good news Good. It's not about a balance of the law and grace. There is no balance. We live by faith. We are at the same time both Just and sinful. --> and only faith embraces this.

On my worst day I cannot forfeit God's love.

Some may say, if you preach like this, we will become too lax about sin. But it's not true. When someone you love opens wide their arms to us, it is the natural response to run in and embrace that one back. It is His kindness that leads up to repentance and the Grace of God that leads us to godliness.

Part of cultivating a life of joy in part is intentionally living in thanksgiving. So here's a short exercise of thanksgiving for the sake of Joy and acknowledging the One who gives ALL good things.

1. Thank you for breakfast this morning, for always providing what I need.
2. Thanks for the vitamix and all the delicious and healthy things that I can make with it now.
3. Thanks for this fresh Apple juice.
4. Thank you for the enjoyment of cooking
5. Thank you for my selfless godly roommate
6. Thank you for this morning to rest
7. Thank you for Spring time!
8. Thank you for trees, especially the flowering ones
9. Thank you that although I am a terrible sinner, Your grace is far greater than my sin
10. Thank You for my church. the best church I have ever been part of.
11. Thank you for small  youtube sermonettes that you use to lift up my soul
12. Thank You for Your Spirit, that lives in me even though I am still learning what that means and and the potential of it.
13. Thank You for being a gentle teacher to me- that You will teach me
14. And that You give wisdom to those who ask and lack it- because I lack it
15. Thank You for financial freedom, although I'm still learning how to steward this right.
16. Thank you for work and the strength to press forward in difficult seasons of life
17. Thank You that when I have no strength, You are abundantly sufficient in my weakness
18. Thank You for meeting me, loving me, and saving me in my weakness
19. Thank You that You will make me like yourself one day- when I get home You.
20. Thank You that You are a great healer- able to heal any pain or hurt. ANY.
21. Thank You again, for Your grace. that is greater than my greatest sin on my worst day. Your Grace that shines down with favor and pleasure in your children. Grace that was purchased by the death and finished work of Your perfect Son. Grace, unmerited and free.

picture lessons on right perspectives

There are 2 picture lessons that have been on my mind a lot this week.

One is the picture of beautiful tree, with one of its branches broken off and laying next to it… dried out and dead.  The branch might be laying right next to the tree, but it doesn't matter. John 15 says  that He is vine and we are the branches and to remain in Him. Apart from him we can do nothing. When I don't abide with him, I am like that branch, broken off, dried up and unfruitful.


The second picture I have been thinking about is the rope analogy by Francis Chan. He has a rope, and says to imagine it is so long it wraps around the world. He has 3 inches of it painted red, which represents our time on earth, and the rest of the rope if our existence in eternity. He says, most of us live for the tiny red part, - making this life comfortable, successful, and safe, storing up our treasures here. He says people look at his life and say, "that's stupid what you are doing" but he says, "No! what you are doing is stupid! I am living for eternity"



 So my questions to myself are: Am I living for and investing in eternity or for the fleeting comforts of this life? and Am I abiding in a way that bears much fruit, walking closely with my precious Savior who is a the source of life…





When I was in college I remember my friend praying, "Lord, teach us not so many many things, but that we know a few things very very well."

I pray this for myself, to learn these lessons full well and live a life that reflected it in the end.

with flowers in His hand.

Acres of Hope
by Shane and Shane

He will allure her, He will pursuer her and call her out
To the wilderness with flowers in His hand
She is responding beat up and hurting deserving death
But offerings of life are found instead

She will sing, she will sing oh, to You
She will sing as in the days of youth
As You lead her away to valleys low
To acres of hope, acres of hope

Here in the valley walk close beside me don't look back
For love is growing vineyards up ahead You have called me master
And though You're in the dark here call me friend
And call me lover and marry me for good

She will sing, she will sing, oh, to You
She will sing as in the days of youth
As You lead her away to valleys low
To acres of hope, acres of hope

How the story ends is love and tenderness in Him
Not safe, but worth it, so worth it. So in the valley's up ahead
Or the ones, we live we'll sing together, we'll sing together

We will sing, we will sing oh, to You
We will sing as in the days of youth
As You lead us away to valleys low
To acres of hope, acres of hope

I have always loved this song and is one I often sing on walks alone. Just last week we had tornados, and now Spring is here with blue skies. God is so kind to me that He had me live in a home whose previous owner loved flowers as much as I do, and planted them everywhere. Thank you Lord for bringing me flowers!

money money money!

Being tax season, I’ve had more thoughts about money than usual. Question like, Where should I spend or invest this? How much should I commit to giving away to missions or ministry?  Should I set aside and create a savings  budget to later provide for my aging parents?  If I change to part-time work, how will that change all these things? Most importantly, what honors God and is the best stewardship of what He has put in my care. I re-read Tim Keller’s chapter in Counterfeit Gods: Money Changes Everything. I was deeply affected by his comment of how easily money becomes an idol- as it meets every deep idol of our heart- comfort, approval, power, or control.  Here are some fitting excerpts for this tax-money season.

Each deep idol- power, approval, comfort, or control—generates a different set of fears and a different set of hopes. “Surface idols are things such as money, our spouse, or children, through which our deep idols seek fulfillment... Some people want money as a way to control their world and life. Such people usually don’t spend much money and live modestly. They keep it all safely saved and invested, so they can feel completely secure in the world. Others want money for access to social circles and to make themselves beautiful and attractive. These people do spend money on themselves in lavish ways. ..In every way however, money idolatry enslaves and distorts lives…Deep idols have to be dealt with at the heart level. 

Jesus warms people far more often about greed than about sex, yet almost no on thinks they are guilty of it. Therefore we should all begin with a working hypothesis that “this could easily be a problem for me.”

Money can become a spiritual addiction, and like all addictions it hides its true proportions from its victims. 

So Lord, turn my eyes back to You as my source of comfort and security. Help me to see this money as belonging to You and give me wisdom and surrender to use it in ways that honor you.  Protect my heart from the deceitfulness of wealth and all it’s booby-traps along the way.