Metamorphosis

Today  I was at my church small group and we were talking about this verse:

"Do not be conformed to the patterns of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind..."

I was struck by how important the word of God is in my transformation and battle against sin. One comment was that our churches (Christians) today are so weak because often they are more focused on an experience and emotional rushes rather than a serious study and meditation on the Word of God.  The renewing of my mind literally brings transformation i.e. metamorphosis- and when we think about the caterpillar turning into a butterfly- it seems a painful struggle in that cocoon ..but only for a little while. I was really encouraged to press on and dig deeper, not just for growth and joy and peace in the Lord, but for transforming things that have such great need to be completely made new.

4 a.m.

Its 4am.  I've been awake since a little after midnight.  So far this morning, I listened to a marvelous sermon (which I missed 2 weeks ago because I was working), paid several bills, planned food for an event at my place tonight.. and wasted brain cells on youtubes posted on Facebook.

backup. It started 8am 2 days ago. I precepted clinic in morning, then at lunch went to the hospital to take Call for the rest of the day and overnight. There was an OB patient in labor all day who delivered at midnight, another who came in severely dehydrated with fetal distress, and another who came in at 2am with preterm labor. Meanwhile 6 new hospital admissions- including a sick 8 month old child with flu, 2 patients with altered mental status, alcoholic withdrawal, a chest pain patient, and an esophageal stricture. Somewhere in there I gave 2 lectures to the day and night interns and finished a powerpoint for a future lecture. I laid down at 4:30a, friday morning, work up (late actually) at 7am, saw some patients and then checked out with the day physician around 8:15am. I went home, spent time with Jesus and slept from 9:30-11:30, talked with my roommate and started my Friday afternoon clinic at 1pm. I was weak and tired, forgot to eat breakfast and lunch since I was post call, but God graciously blessed each encounter I had that afternoon. When I got home, I ate a huge omelet, watched a funny show on Hulu and fell asleep at 7pm.

I will probably go back to sleep soon, then when I wake up I will clean my apartment, shop for food for tonight, host the prayer sendoff for my friends moving to Malawi, and go to bed early again. A patient is coming to church with me tomorrow. Then after church, I will go back to the hospital to take Call and start this process all over.

other goals for today
Buy plane tickets for a friend's Wedding in April
Start a lecture on Pediatric Asthma to give in Egypt.
Make a prayer letter for that trip too.
Read Hosea.

Some might look at this and think I'm manic. Some might be impressed. Some might judge me for being a workaholic. Some might feel sorry for me, some might put me on a pedestal, some might think I'm bragging, others complaining.  Maybe its all those things, maybe its none.

Lord, let this not be for vain glory, as worthless works and empty striving.  I want my life poured out, the wick burned low, to run hard not for the the vanity and approval of men, but for your name and renown.  Check my heart, make it right.