praying for the opportunity ...

As I walked into my clinic, I prayed that God would give me an opportunity and the time to share the gospel with someone today. I prayed that He would bring some "ripe fruit". Then I punched the door code and walked into the dark hallway. 

...............................................10 AM.............................................

It was her first visit after the biopsy came back as breast cancer. She was tired, her body hurt, and most of all, she was scared. She had told me previously she was Christian so I asked her,

"How are things with God in all this?"

"They're ok, yeah..um I guess"

"Has your faith been helpful?'

"yeah, praying helps some"

"Do you have a church family that is supportive?" 

"I haven't been in a long time.."

"I used to go to church and for a long time never understood the big picture of how to really know God, I knew Jesus had died but didn't understand why or the big picture of the Bible. At some point, someone explained the big picture to me and it really helped me- especially in times that are hard and scary.  Would it be helpful to you for me to share with you the Big picture of the Gospel and How to know God?

"Yeah, I would really like that" 

I was able to share the gospel with her. She clearly did not know why Jesus died or how to have a relationship with him.  She did pray to receive Jesus as her leader and savior. She said she had a friend who went to church she could go with and had a Bible at home that she hadn't read before.  She even had the Bible app on her phone so I showed her some of the daily devo videos and pointed her to everyperson.com website also. 

--Father, let her genuinely know You and find true and lasting comfort in your strong and loving arms. Amen.

Answered prayers

 I prayed for many years for a husband who loved God, loved people, and loved God's word. I just want to note here how thankful I am to God for answering this in my life today. We are both still in progress but here are a few things I am treasuring in my heart right now. 

Watching my husband lead a discovery Bible Study at Hermann Park for our local homeless friends, even when it's awkward for him. 

Seeing his offer to lead small group Bible study when no one else signs up. 

Watching him sneak over to my neighbor's apartment while they are in India to wash all their dishes. He had driven them to the airport and this was brought to light in their hurried rush to leave. 

He gets up early (around 5:30Am) to spend time with God and read his Bible and pray in our bathroom closet since there's nowhere else that won't wake people up to be in the morning. 

He is reading John Piper with his brother every week. 

He got up early on my day off to take care of our 2-year-old, give him breakfast, dress him and bring him to daycare so I could sleep in a little bit more today. 

Not a Deist

 He was 26 and a little depressed. Being human was hard sometimes and pretty busy. I knew his dad who was a Christian and actively involved with the church. It was his first time seeing a doctor in many years. When I asked him about his faith background he said he grew up with religion but it's not for him now.. but he was "spiritual" and liked to think there was a purpose to life... but - no- , he wasn't a "deist or anything"  He then apologist for "taking so much more than he thought he would about it." Later when I asked if it would be helpful if I prayed for him he asked me, "do your other patients like it when you pray for them?"

"Well, if they want me to pray for them, usually they find it helpful. I only pray with people who want me to pray with them. It's just something I offer, but only for people who want it" 

he said, "well yeah!" and then had a pretty long list of things he really could use prayer for. 

Pretty long I think for someone who doesn't really believe in God. 

God, I pray for this man, that you would pursue him and take hold of his life so he knows You are the One he needs. You are the One who gives us purpose. 

for the grandkids

He came for his annual exam. Nothing special to talk about. Some skin issues and a cough. The last visit I had seen him was 2 years ago and it was mostly unremarkable. He had declined prayer at that time. 

me: "So I remember you're not religious. Did you have a bad experience in the past?"

him: "yeah- I grew up JW.  It wasn't ..the best... Religion is just not my thing now" 

me: "Yeah, well, we are all on our own Journey. Some of us have bad experiences with religion. I like that Jesus didn't necessarily come to bring "religion" and rules, but relationship. 

him: "It's funny you bring it up... actually I've been thinking about it a lot lately. Because now that we have grandkids, I've been wanting to get back into, well.. just something... for them. "

... My kids, well, they are basically atheists because I didn't teach them anything because I had problems with it.. but they never had the choice really.  I don't want my grandkids to be like that... I want them to have a choice.,  But I sort of feel like a hypocrite trying to tell my kids that since I was so against it all when they were growing up. I'm just not really sure what to do about that now"

me: You could perhaps pray and ask God to show you what to do... I'm sure He'd actually be really happy  to hear from you"

him: silence then "hmmfff"

me: Remember the prodigal son story?" Where that son runs off and spends all his dad's money and is wanting to come home?

him: Oh Yeah, I know that story, I know all the stories. 

me: Yeah, remember how it ends?  He came home thinking his dad would be mad at him, but when he finally decided to come back, his dad saw him and ran to him and hugged him and welcomed him home.. that's how God is for all of us when we come to Him. 

him: yeah. 

me: well, there's this neat website that you might like to check out. It's called everyperson.com

It was written by an Athiest who had a lot of questions but ended but finding God in the end. You might like it

him- that sounds interesting. thanks for this, I'll check it out

me: would it be helpful if I prayed for you today before you do home?

him: no thanks. 

the COVID19 Widow

She sat in my office, a new widow at 59. Her husband died of COVID19 last month and she lived alone. We talked about her health, her blood pressure, her lab work. She was teary eyed. It was clearly a difficult season in her life. I remembered she grew up Catholic. 

I asked "Is your faith a big part of your life? Has it been helping you ?" 

She said, "That was a long time ago. My parents were religious but I wasn't.  I haven't paid much attention to it for some time. I was thinking now that I am alone, I would try again... maybe a different kind of church though. "

I shared with her, "I went to church for a long time and never really understood how to connect with God much. It was a lot of rules and rituals, but I remember when someone did share with me the big picture of How to connect with God--  that really helped me a lot. Would you like me to share that BIG PICTURE explanation of How we connect with God and get closer to Him?" 

"Yeah, I think that might help me"

I had the opportunity to share the gospel with this hurting woman today. At the end,  I showed her the 2 circles/types of people.  she said she was on the left (life without Jesus and leading her own life) but wanted to be on the right (life with Jesus , forgiven and letting Him lead her life) .  She said she wanted to cross over today... and we prayed for that end. 

"wow, that was really special" she said. 

"It's just the beginning " I said. Today is the beginning of your new Life with Jesus as your best friend and He will never leave you.  The rest of your life is a life of getting to know Him more , learn about Him and enjoy life with Him" 

Dear God, I pray that you would let Your truth sing deep in her heart. I pray that the enemy would not steal these seeds away and she would truly KNOW you and follow you. Bring her into your church  and surround her with people who will help her in this new life. 

follow up 6 weeks for HTN.  to be continued...

If it had not been for the pain...

When I called my mom, I was hurting. 

I cried and asked her to come help me 4 weeks early. 

She came and we had the most peaceful, healing 4 weeks together. 

Healing that has been needed for about 20 years. 

Only God knew what He was doing in the pain. 

Had I not had the cesarean and poor anesthesia and complications, I would not have cried out.

Had I not cried out, she would not have come.

Had she not come, I would have missed out on this precious month together. 

-month that has changed my relationship with my mom and how I see her. 

 something better to remember her for forever. 

#stonesfortheJordan

Surgery for your good...

My baby had tongue tie laser surgery this week. It was really painful for him and we are left with instructions to do tongue and lip stretches every 4 hours for the next month to prevent the wound from closing back to it's original form. Every time we do the stretches, my baby boy screams bloody murder-- I know it hurts him. Probably stings and it even hurts a little for him to eat-- he cries and feeds and cries and feeds. It's so painful to my heart to watch him in pain, but we need to do it so he can eat well, grow and be healthy.  It hurts to know he doesn't know why we are doing it-- he just knows WE are doing it and it hurts. But it's good for him. I don't find any pleasure in his pain.. but it must be done.

This helped me understand a little why God lets us suffer at time. He doesn't find pleasure in my suffering, but allows it so I can grow and be healthy-- ultimately to mature more into His image-- more like Jesus.. for my good. and His glory. I don't always know why or what He's doing. but I can trust He loves me with the heart of a good Father who wants fullness of Joy and Life for his children. He is wise, loving and able. I just have need to trust His heart.